So I guess I should start off with an apology. That last blog (now deleted) was a drunken rant and after reading it I realized how crazy it sounded. That being said it's nice to know I have so many people who care about me, because it didn't take more than a few hours before I was getting support and at the time I didn't realize why but after reading that thing I can understand. Thanks guys and sorry for turning what I had hoped and wanted to be a more mature emotional outlet into a drunken rant.
This weekend wasn't very good as you might have realized but I can safely say I'd much rather talk about it sober than drunk. I have had some incite about this city but it's not so bitter as it was in my last post, more an observation that I think explains it much better.
I guess I have just come to realize the selfish tendency people have but on the bright side I think it's re-affirming in my mind who my true best friends are. I really do try and be selfless but I am just as bad as the next person. I must admit I've been very selfish over the past 8 months (if not more). I don't know when the trend actually stated but I really want to break it. What's sad is I see it in so many people. I don't want to give a whole lot of back story on where this is all coming from because I don't think it's warranted. Just know I feel pretty betrayed by a close friend today. I let myself get so worked up about something and when suddenly my plans are shot down and I'm not longer welcome, he ends up going anyway and I'm suddenly just left alone feeling like completely left out for no rhyme or reason. I do want to thank those of you that do take time out of your lives to care about other people though, you are truly a breath of fresh air and I love you...
I am really trying to stay optimisitic because I know if I can pull myself out of this selfish phase I've been in since my last break-up then I can one-up most of the people in this community and maybe then the golden rule will take over and I can finally feel as though I'm treated as well as I think I should be. At the very least I'll feel better about myself than I have in quite some time.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. I hope to post some more optimistic robisms in the future. Stay tuned.